Vale Barry

We received one of those phone calls today. The conversation quickly went from cheery hellos (on our end) to "Oh no" to "I'm so sorry" to "When's the funeral". I was listening in from the kitchen and my heart sank. All sorts of scenarios were unfolding in my head. The reality was that the father of my husband's best mate had passed. He had cancer, so his death wasn't unexpected, but it was sooner than anyone had anticipated.

We're both deeply saddened.  He was a good man. An environmental advocate, an outstanding natural athlete, a man of integrity. His recent passion had been damselflies - collecting, identifying and learning about them. He and his wife had travelled the world, raised three gorgeous daughters and a son and had a gaggle of grand kids.

So, instead of kicking back enjoying the Australia Day break with friends, we're heading off for a celebration of a different kind.  On the upside we will get to spend precious time with my husband's family - his father begins treatment for cancer the morning we leave. I fear this is not the last cancer-related funeral we will be attending this year.

Supporting your friends

I was talking with friend today about attending the funeral of a mutual friend's mother. The friend I was speaking with was amazed that I'd attend a funeral of someone I'd never met. Whilst I had actually met my friend's mother once, many years ago for about 30 seconds, I'm attending the funeral to show my friend that I care about her, and want to support at this time.

Other than sending a card, an email, flowers or calling, I don't know what else I would do to show my friends that I want to offer them respect and condolences at such a difficult time. I'm also interested to hear about this woman's life.

My friend's mother was a respected potter. The National Gallery has pieces of her work in their collection. I have a piece of hers (given as a gift to me years ago). Years ago I went to the last exhibition my friends mother held. Her work was the type that appealed to me - delicate but robust, gorgeous glazes. refined. You could see the confidence of the craftswomen as she had formed the clay.