Next Friday I'm having a hysterectomy. It's not unexpected, I've had a few issues and we're hoping that removing my womb will sort those issues. I've been through menopause, so I'm not going to have hormone replacement therapy to deal with the loss of hormones.
I have a complicated relationship with my womb. Due to a genetic issue I have a unicornate womb - it's only half a womb. And I only have one ovary. I've often joked that I'm only half a woman, and attributed my love of rugby union, car stuff and beer to my missing half! I hate think how much worse my periods would have been if I'd had the whole thing!
Because of my issues I couldn't have children, so my womb has never really been used as it was intended. Dont get me wrong, I'm sad but not devastated that I couldn't have children, but I am still mourning the imminent loss of my womb and, potentially, my only ovary (my surgeon has said he will try to save it but he's not super confident). They signify to me that I am a woman. Without them what do I become? (I understand that my chromosomes actually make me a woman, but it seems that actually having the kit is also a big signifier for me.)
I'm not sure my husband understands why I'm so tense and snappy at present. I told him it's the same as if he was having his testicles removed.
So next Friday looms large. I'm not looking forward to the possible pain that will follow this surgery, but I am looking forward to not having to worry about how my womb issues are affecting other parts of my body.
